Alone in the dark
by RitsuchanOH
Summary: Duo, of courseeee, loves Heero.[since when has he not in a yaoi] Does Heero love Duo? I haven't decided. Heheh. Buttt Duo is angsty. Lemon to come. Yaoi, a little AU. OC. Review me. First fanfic. I loves you. Rated M, for later. Maybe. If your lucky.
1. Chapter 1 How nice

**Sooo.. First fan-fic. **

**Duohee. **

Expect it to suck horribly.

Oh well.

Warnings: Yaoi, 1x2, lemon in some later chapters, angsty.

Thinking to himself about the past, he slid his hand behind his back to grasp a slippery, clear knob. Turning his upper body and firmly gripping the knob, he turned it only slightly the left. He reveled in the heat falling down his body, caressing each inch with its warmth. His eyes started to flicker closed, until his body felt increasingly deprived and his eyes opened once again. He twisted slightly again, moving the knob more to the left, and wincing slightly as he felt the intense warmth again cascade down the entire length of his body. Such sensations were relished now. Maybe enjoyed too much. He wasn't satisfied. Repeatedly, he kept turning the knob to the left, farther and farther, pushing his body to extreme pains and pleasures, as the water fell from the showerhead and down to his ankles. It slowly reddened his skin to a deeply flushed scarlet as he was sent away from reality for a moment. At first it was burning, and his body almost jerked away each time, but it always cooled too fast. That's the thing he hated about taking his showers in that manner. Each time he finally got it hot enough to send him away, it would always cool, and he would always long for more. It just felt so unbelievably relieving.

After a little while more of this, he gradually let the water cool his body back down and stepped out to dry himself off. He decided he wanted to go out tonight. He got dressed in his normal color, which was black, and drove to his favorite bar in town. He sat down in his normal chair, ordered his normal drink, and stared at his normal spot on the wall, as solemnly as normal. A few thoughts collided with a few drinks, and suddenly he saw a much longed for face walk casually in the doorway. The initial reaction was to run, but emotions overtook him and he just fearfully hid inside his head, hoping he wouldn't see him there, like that, all alone.

He probably doesn't want to see me. I'm almost 100 sure he doesn't want to see me, I mean it's been a long time, and he's with other friends. He can't possibly feel the way I do. He never has, so why would he now. Damn, I need another drink. He probably doesn't even recognize me even. I hope he doesn't. Oh shit. Oh shit. Why is he coming over here.. I don't want him to see me like this. Not here, not drunk. Why. Oh god. No. He's looking at me. That perfect boy is so beautiful. Im so scared. I shouldn't even be here. Why did I come here? I just wanted to have a night out. I don't know what to do. Should I leave? Damn it. He's talking to me.. Should I even respond?

Seconds seemed like hours to the braided pilot, as he tried to think of what to do.

"Whhat are yoou doing here Heeero?" he finally replied. Heero could tell he was extremely depressed and half-way drunk. Duo didn't notice the concerned expression fade across the desired one's face as Heero responded, "I was just out, and thought I'd stop for a drink.. How are you duo..?" At that Duo snapped into a false soberness, and put up his mask, trying to cover up his slight falter with apparent happiness with everything. "Fine man, I'm doin great, It's been so long" Duo felt absolutely torn and wrecked on the inside. He couldn't show it, but he had to leave. Soon. His stomach was getting very upset at his mind for trying to think while he was in that condition, he felt sick. He needed to find any excuse to leave. He replied with the first one that came to mind, "Hey buddy, It was nice seeing you, but I gotta get back to my apartment before the gas stations close, I have to fill up, or I won't make it half-way." With that duo slid off the stool, his braided hair swinging down to his waist, as he smiled and said goodbye to the perfect soldier and rushed to his car. He shut the door quickly and slammed his head down on the steering wheel, punishing himself for being so stupid in front of his love. Heero was worried about him now. The last thing he wanted was for Heero to worry about him for senseless reasons. It's only a friendly worry, and that's all it would ever be, so there's really no point in it. No point in making him worry. He climbed in the back of his car and stared up at the night sky, waiting until he could drive without throwing up or just driving off of a bridge in self-disappointment. As soon as he got home, he crawled into his cold bed, and curled up, much like a cat, and just thought. Thought about where he was in life. He was getting older. He decided he would probably never be with anyone anyway. Heero didn't love him. He never would. There was no use in thinking about it any longer. He hated love.


	2. Chapter 2 Novel ideas

He woke up the next morning, his eyes puffy and red, not wanting to go anywhere, but knew he had too. He trudged out of bed just like every morning, except for the slight but noticeable downward tilt of his head towards the cold tile floor. He didn't even feel the need to lift his head up to see the magical things that are naturally found on Earth. He didn't care at all. All he wanted was him; the perfect soldier. He could imagine how it would be if only he could be with him. Thoughts of the night before plagued his mind and destroyed all his wonderful dreams just as quickly as they had been created. It played over and over again.

I'm such an idiot. I just _had_ to go get drunk in _that bar_, at _that time_, _last night_. He shouldn't have even been there. I wish he would've never walked in that door. I can't stand the way I feel when I'm around him though. So I'm actually sort of happy that I wasn't thinking, even though he's probably thinking I'm a stupid drunk now. He's probably worried about me because once upon a time we fought together in a war, and we were friends for some time. I guess we still are, despite the lack of contact. I can't blame him though. I wouldn't want to keep in touch with a horrible loser like me.

With those thoughts, Duo tried to make the best of his appearance. He set off for the morning walking. He didn't feel like driving, he didn't deserve that sort of luxury. Bookstores with coffee shops were always so tempting to him, so he had to stop just for a little while. A little while turned into hours on end, as he wasted the daylight away drinking a soy vanilla latte, and reading the latest romance novel from his favorite author.

Then he shrunk down in his chair suddenly, trying not to be seen by his only love, which had coincidentally walked in as soon as he had turned to the 223'rd page. He was having such a nice time compared to this morning following last night, and this was enough to bring him to the edge once again. The calmness in his muscles was shaken away with the jolt of his body, and the peacefulness in his mind was chased away by fear and doubt. They made eye contact for a second and Duo almost killed himself in the moments to follow, but after that it clicked. That instinct he had always had since he was a little kid. He hated seeing people hurt or worried, so he would always pretend to be happy. He had always put up a mask for everyone, never letting it down until last night, to the person he most longed for. So naturally Heero had instantly known there was something seriously wrong, and that's what Duo was most scared of. He had no explanation. He couldn't tell him the true reason for his drunken depression. So he quickly put up his mask and scrambled frantically through the random excuses in his mind to find the perfect one.

Heero was alone this time, and slowly walked over and sat down in a comfortable chair adjacent to Duo's. He barely even glanced over, trying to pretend to be so absorbed by his novel, as Heero started up a casual conversation. Duo responded quickly with generic and cheerful responses, trying to be as convincing as possible. Heero suddenly moved his hand over to rest on Duo's, and made intense eye contact with his braided friend. Duo freaked out mentally, but keeping his mask firmly in place stayed cool and calm on the outside. I mean, why should he freak out? They're just friends after all. Heero had started asking him about the other night. Duo replied with a question too, to distract him from the answer he wanted from him, sadly for Duo Heero was a little smarter than that. He tightened his grip to a more firm one, and asked again why Duo was upset and drunk at the bar. Duo didn't know what to do. He had never shown himself like that to anyone before. Now his beloved one was holding his hand tightly, and inquiring about the side of Duo he had a glimpse of the other night. Duo sighed a long sigh, and opened his mouth slightly as if to begin on a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he had appeared somewhat distraught and intoxicated the night before, but nothing came out. For the longest time they just stared at each other. It almost seemed as if they were speaking without words. Duo; his undying and eternal love, and Heero; his deep concern, and care for him. Probably just care. Not love. No, he knew it wasn't.


End file.
